10 deep fried and bacon-centric foods to try at Calgary Stampede
Well, I’ll be darned! If it ain’t that time of year again when the chuckwagons roll on in and cowpoke outnumber the city slickers. That’s right; the Calgary Stampede is about to blow the tumbleweeds from the town just as it has done for the past 101 years. Beyond the bull ridin’, steer ropin’ and barrel racin’, what’s got us most excited this year is the new and improved midway menu that will be feeding the famished folk of Stampede City, all decked out in their cowboy couture best.
Some 31 new foodables will be making an appearance from July 5, with 18 food trucks gearing up for the first ever Calgary Stampede Food Truck Rally and a further five taking residence on Stamp-Eat Street for the entire 10-day rodeo spectacular. You know what that adds up to? A whole lot of deliciousness. Here are 10 foods we’re simultaneously intrigued, tempted and nauseated by. Please note stretchy pants are not included in the cost of your admission ticket.
Deep Fried Avocado
So good, yet so bad. If avocado is a super food, what happens to it when it’s coated in tempura batter and tossed in a molten vat of oil? My guess is that it becomes some kind of superhero food. Alternatively it could be more like kryptonite and become our demise, but I’m willing to take those odds. #CleanEating
Godzilla Mac and Cheese
This year we’re told there will be a food truck that serves nothing but mac and cheese in several different and delicious ways. We’re assuming at least 93% of these flavour combinations will include bacon. Eat enough Godzilla mac and cheese and you might think you’re a giant lizard running wild in downtown Tokyo, hopped up on roasted nori, teriyaki sauce and Kewpie mayo.
Chocolate Covered Bacon
Ah, my two favourite food groups: bacon and chocolate. Apparently everything in Canada comes with bacon so it was only a matter of time before some mastermind decided to whack it on a paddle pop and dunk it in liquid cocoa delight. There’s dark chocolate available for you health nuts too but I say go the whole hog.
Western Cake Pops
Probably the most lacklustre of these calorific wonders are the western cake pops. If you’re not familiar with the cake pop fad that had knocked cupcakes and macarons off their perch, it’s basically a ball of cake on a skewer. But these ones come in the shape of cowboy boots and hats! I personally would like a bouquet of these.
Deep Fried Bubble Gum
Let’s set the record straight from the get go: this is not the chew-and-pop variety of bubble gum. Imagine, if you will, a bubble gum infused marshmallow. It’s pliable pillowy surface gently hugged by pink pastry. The magic of the fryer creates some kind of gooey goodness that is unparalleled. Genesis got it wrong: it wasn’t an apple that tempted Eve, it was one of these little devils.
Chocolate Dipped Jalapeno
If you’re bored with the surplus of chilli chocolate readily available on the dessert scene, choc-dipped jalapeno peppers might pique your interest. Don’t let their deliciously tempered appearance fool you, though. If your tastebuds are already fried from previous chilli fiascos, no sweat. If you have normal people tolerance to spice, lots of sweat.
Aero-nerds might be familiar with B52 in its more common form as a strategic bomber plane still used by the US Air Force. B52 Fudge, on the other hand, specialises in taste explosions. Start with a layer of Baileys fudge, followed by a layer of Grand Marnier fudge, topped with a slab of Kahlua fudge. Quiet brain, you had your chance!
One can only assume this delicacy is located next to a stall that does emergency artery unblocking. If you’re watching your weight, look away now. Even reading this might add a few inches to the ol’ waistband. There’s not much else to say. It’s a cube of butter enveloped in pie crust thrown into the abyss of anti-health that is the deep-fryer. I’m still not totally against it.
Banana Bacon Ear
Elephant ear dough is also called palmiers, which sounds a lot more exotic and a little less big game-hunty. Basically, your average banana bacon ear is flat rolled dough wrapped around bacon which, in turn, is wrapped around a banana. It is then thrown on a stick, deep fried (obviously) drizzled in chocolate. Bananaception.
Eggroll on a Stick
Like a giant slap in the face to China, the classic eggroll has been Stampede-ified and speared on a stick, as we have discovered all good exhibition food should be. The way I see it, you’ve got your egg for protein, your veggies for general wellness and the crunchy, crispy golden coating for fibre. It’s a well-balanced meal. On a stick.
More like this
More like this
70 Hot Dogs in 10 Minutes - USA's Best Eating Comps
#Lifegoals right here: people cheering you on as you eat as much as you can with the possibility of a cash prize at the end of a bucket of fried chicken. The USA is the world’s hotspot for competitive eating, a legit sport that has its own administrative league and a calendar of juicy events.